Jesus Wants Me to Be Fat

Today was the coldest day of the year; it was literally 2 degrees outside. The kind of day that makes you want to don your Snuggie of choice and camp out on your couch. However, in honor of my New Year's vague resolution-y ideas, I decided to double up on the thermal Sugoi leggings, zip up the down coat, and fight my way through the wind to good ol' Equinox.

Fine. I work out. Now time to make it home in time to change and get to Sunburnt Cow for endless mimosa brunch. Speaking of time... I pull out my blackberry to see how late I am. Awkward coat pocket... awkward gloves... awkward grasp of my berry... phone slipping... falling... puddle... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo. My blackberry landed in a puddle. A puddle. In 2 degree weather. How is that even possible?!??

Don't even bother to answer that.

My berry is now sitting unconscious in an air-tight bag of dry rice. My hand is twitching.