Lucy, You Know I Don't Speak Mexican

Racist moment of the day:

I opened my inbox and glanced at the subject of my Who What Wear daily email. The actual subject was "What They Wear: Stylish Musicians". What I read was "What They Wear: Stylish Mexicans". Two things went through my head. 1. Wait - Really?? 2. A photo of a Mariachi Band followed quickly by a flash of people working in a field.

I know. So offensive. I'm offended by my own subconscious. I figured if I put it in print, it would make it less racist. I'm not sure it's working. If it makes anyone feel any better, I am the whitest dancer ever. Just ask my Asian Posse.

That's Some F*ed-Up Sh*t, Man

My coworker forwarded this to me, because she knew I would enjoy it. Mostly because it is totally dark and twisted, yet somehow manages to be HI-larious. Although, I'm pretty sure you should laugh at your own risk, because ghosts are involved. I've started wearing my Casper t-shirt around, in hopes of invoking some friendly spirits to safeguard my life.

The backstory to this photo: My coworker's brother works in downtown NY, in a Fifth Avenue office. (This is a pertinent detail.) As his coworker walked into the building, he swiped a copy of the New York Times that was lying around. Someone else's copy. No big deal - I used to steal the Wall Street Journal from my neighbors in New York. No one's judging.


The only difference is, my neighbors weren't dead. Please reference the circled names in the photo above. (Click on the photo to make it larger. DO IT.) Yup. Newspaper thief stole a dead man's rag. A dead man who happened to have recently hanged himself in that very building.

Tread lightly, my friend. Tread lightly.

Gems From This Past Week

"I don't believe in monogamy, but my wife doesn't believe in polygamy."
Pretty sure she also doesn't believe in you buying drinks for random girls at bars.

"Come sit over here."
"I'm fine right here, thanks."
"Your attitude problem only makes you that much more adorable."
Oh, I know.

"Where's your new place?"
"Beverly Hills"
"That's so not you - what are you doing living there?!"
Right. Because you've known me all of 3 and a half minutes. Thank you for your frank analysis. I should probably move now.

"You actually seem like a really cool chick. We'll see if it's for real."
Really?? You think so?? Omggg I feel so much better about my life now. Thank you for validating my existence. I only hope I can continue to live up to your obviously superior expectations.

...

...

...

Meow.

I Can Rationalize It

idigalittleirony: (to me) "If you can sleep at night, that's all that matters"

ithinkironyisSOfunny: "Yeah, but Stacie clearly hasn't been sleeping well at night [turns to me], so maybe it's time for you to make some life changes."

Probably.

This was about shoes, by the way.