Dear Self, That Was Unnecessary

When I am working out in the mini-gym in my parents' garage, there are only two scenarios in which I remove the headphones from my ears. Actually, I only remove them from both ears if my grandmother happens to come in to say something to me. Which happened once. And that's just because she's partially responsible for my existence on this Earth, and she's not one of my parents. Jesus, I'd take both headphones out of my ears for you too.

Excepting visits from grandparents and Jesus, the right headphone will occasionally rest on my clavicle bone for one of these two reasons:

1. If I need to check to make sure I'm in tune while I'm belting out Xtina and Kylie mid-leg extension. You're welcome, neighbors.

2. If I need to listen to a voicemail.

Apparently, when I've been working out for a bit too long, I get a little confused about self-enforced rule #2.

Today I took out my headphones to read a bbm. That was an uncomfortable moment.

Future of America

me: I am now getting my only exercise of the day by walking to Yogurtland

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Niiiiiice!!!! That's more than I do ever.

me: Hahahahahahaha

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Seriously. My ass and thighs are a little sore from dancing.

me: Aaaaahhahahahahahahhahhahaaaa. Dude. We gotta start getting you to the gym lol

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Hahahahaha. I like my body better when I don't work out though. Is that weird? I look weaker...more sickly.

me: Hahahaahahahahahhahhahahaha

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Not as sickly as I would like though of course.

me: No I totally know what you mean. As f*cked up and so not okay as that is. LOL

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Hahahahaa I was half-kidding. But it's sort of true.

me: Like I don't want to look strong. I want to look like I can barely hold my purse.

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Hahahahahaha! But strong is hot too! I just never looked that strong either.

me: HAHAA

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Hahahahahaha! Oh we dream big.

me: Right? Future of America. Thank youuuu womens' movement

ithinkironyisSOfunny: What are our daughters going to be like?

me: F*cked up. But skinny

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! Omg. I loved that answer. I wouldn't want it any other way.

me: Although no one kidnaps a fat kid

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Hahahahaha! Yeah, but I'd wish that they would. I don't want to raise a self-respecting fat girl!

me: Ew no. Grossss

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Omg! If I raise some big fat lez I'll just die

me: Omg I just died. Some huge butch chic. Brilliant.

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha

me: um, ithinkironyisSOfunny... I don't think you have to worry about your daughter having any self-respect.

Mwahahhahahahhahahhaa

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Thanks, Stacie!

me: Bahahaha

ithinkironyisSOfunny: Quote of the day! This is the funniest conversation that I can never repeat.

Consider it repeated.