Neighborhood Whore Watch

There are few constants in my life. One of these is my unceasing fear that I will be murdered. When I was a small child, one of my chores was to bring the trashcans back up to the house from the street. I would check the backyard for strangers and proceed quickly to the end of the driveway - ears pricked and peripheral vision in full effect. Once I got near the trashcans, I would run up to them and kick them. Why would I kick them? To find out if someone was hiding in them, waiting to kill me. Duh.

I check beneath my car and in my back seat before getting behind the wheel... I check behind the shower curtain whenever I enter a bathroom... I have been known to walk home with 911 already dialed into my Blackberry, just in case. In short, I don't need any more information to convince me that rapists and murderers walk our same streets. Regardless, two weeks ago, I received information from ithinkironyisSOfunny, informing me that one of these rapist-murderer types was walking the streets two blocks from my home. (Yes, the information informed me. Shocking, I know.) Right. Better keep that mace cocked and ready to go.

Apparently, ithinkironyisSOfunny isn't the only person who thinks I need an extra warning or two.

I was walking down Robertson, late Saturday morning, when a middle-aged woman waved to get my attention. Thinking she needed directions, or something of the sort, I paused and removed my headphones.

Random Woman: "A good girlfriend of mine just told me there's a rapist around here. He just raped someone last week!"
Me: "OMG, I heard about that!! So scary!"
Random Woman: "Oh. Well. Because you're dressed a little...." (Full, slow-motion down and up scan of my general person)

And then she walked away.

Cool. Thanks. It's always nice to know your neighbors care.

My "I'm Asking To Get Raped" outfit can be seen (sort of) in the photo above. I'm on the right. (Duh.) Also, I hate people.