"I'm Just Messin' With You, Man" -- Jesus

After a brief heart to heart with one of my besties, I turn to leave, saying through tears (mixed with sardonic laughter and masked by over-sized, over-tinted sunnies, obviously,) "At least I have Justin Bieber waiting for me in my car. He is the only thing getting me through life right now."

I put my keys in the ignition, and reach for my iPod, which I always leave connected to the speakers. This time, my hand grasps an unconnected cord.

Very funny, Jesus.

Editor's note: It turns out that, for once in my life, I had disconnected my iPod and placed it in my bag. Justin was, indeed, waiting for me in my car... and, somewhere up in the sky, Jesus was ROFL.