Just In Case I was Serious

The other night, a coworker and I discovered our mutual love for spin class at Equinox. After a lengthy discussion concerning favorite teachers, annoying people in class, preferred music for rides, etc, I mentioned that I would secretly love to be a spin instructor.

What? I really like concocting the perfect playlist - Embarrassing true story: I once went through my iPod and divided my songs into 5 different playlists: Warm-up, Flats, Steep Inclines, Jumps, and Cool down.

Apparently a penchant for athletically-inspiring playlists does not an awesome spinner make.

The next morning, I sprinted (sprinting = socially appropriate power-walking) to my favorite Thursday morning spin class, finding myself 7 minutes late for class. The bike that I had carefully booked online 24 hours ahead of time? Taken. The instructor motioned me inside and said I could take his bike at the front of the class if I wanted. I considered this momentarily. I looked around the room. I suddenly realized that no one in this room, myself included, would be inspired by my "I work kind of hard for long periods of time, but can't really push myself into the 'pain is gain' category" gym mantra.

I looked back at Gregg and said "Um, I would feel bad..."

Now, at this point, there are two ways he can go with this:
Option A: "No, don't be ridiculous, you're awesome. C'mon let's get you set up."
Option B: Needing no explanation, he has me follow him to the back row, where he asks a very athletic looking gentleman if he would mind riding up front so that I can ride in the back.

I don't think I need to tell you which way he went.

I also don't think it would have been quite so painful, had it not been for the immediate look of understanding/smirk on the guy's face.

Sheesh, Jesus. It was just a pretend goal on which I never would have followed through. I thought you knew me better than that.

That's Just Mean

I awoke to find this email in my inbox:

Hi Stacie,

I am a fan of you and your work as an actress. I hope you are doing well and wanted to know how I can get an autographed photo of you. Thanks so much for your time. I wish you continued success and blessings :) Take Care and have a great 2010!

~ Patrick

Oh, he also included his address in Alabama at the close of his message.

Really Patrick? And exactly what of my work have you seen slash are you a fan of? My 5 lines on Days of Our Lives? My awesome "I want to kill myself" look at the top of the runway on Shear Genius? Ohhhh I know - my student films. You love my student films.

People are really creepy.

Sorry, Teach

Do you ever think about your elementary school teachers? The teachers who knew you when you were bright-eyed and brilliant... the very picture of wide-eyed innocence and undeniable promise.



Do you ever think about contacting them today and letting them know how far you've come?

I had this thought earlier this afternoon and drafted a hypothetical letter in my mind.

Dear Mrs. H,

First of all, you were the most amazing first grade teacher. Not only did you notice that, at the tender age of 6, my legs were already too long for the child-sized classroom standard furniture; you were also astute enough to ask my mom if you should get me a regular-sized desk or if that would be embarassing. You may be able to take comfort in the fact that my life has continued to be a constant question of "Which is less embarassing?"

Also, I would just like to let you know that, no, I did not become the first female President, as you predicted I would.

You were close.

Thanks for setting the foundation for my education!!!

Xoxo
Stacie :)

Disappointing? I'm going to say no. Because sometimes it's important to say no for the sake of your self-esteem.

Um Thanks, I Think?

I stopped at a gas station at 6:45am to pick up gatorade, water, a power bar, and cigs.

So I get to the counter. He asks me for ID of course. He goes: "84?!?!?!?!! WHAT? You look too young. Very young." "Oh, thank you." "Are you married? Most people your age are married."

No........

Yes.

This ironic incident was contibuted by improbablygonnabeacatlady

I May Have Jumped the Gun at Blaming Jesus

I just remembered something that may shift the blame for my Blackberry's current critical condition.

Last night, my roommate dared to suggest that my New Year's resolution should be revolve around being less attached to my blackberry. I declined the suggestion, saying it was not something I felt the need to change.

Obviously, today my blackberry entered coma-status. Is it possible that he Secreted my berry's demise??

Maybe Jesus doesn't want me to be fat this year.

Jesus Wants Me to Be Fat

Today was the coldest day of the year; it was literally 2 degrees outside. The kind of day that makes you want to don your Snuggie of choice and camp out on your couch. However, in honor of my New Year's vague resolution-y ideas, I decided to double up on the thermal Sugoi leggings, zip up the down coat, and fight my way through the wind to good ol' Equinox.

Fine. I work out. Now time to make it home in time to change and get to Sunburnt Cow for endless mimosa brunch. Speaking of time... I pull out my blackberry to see how late I am. Awkward coat pocket... awkward gloves... awkward grasp of my berry... phone slipping... falling... puddle... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo. My blackberry landed in a puddle. A puddle. In 2 degree weather. How is that even possible?!??

Don't even bother to answer that.

My berry is now sitting unconscious in an air-tight bag of dry rice. My hand is twitching.

Welcome to the Lifestyle!

Just in time for the new year, mylifeissonotironic had her first babystep into the world of irony.

Seconds after explaining how she doesn't want to see or talk to a certain gentleman, we get into a cab. The cab driver is wearing said gentleman's cologne.

Small, but telling.

I am so proud.